Love Sucks
by axelfar
Summary: Margaret's love life is less than perfect, so she decides to write a romantic story staring Mordecai and Rigby, but things get complicated when her story starts effecting the real Mordecai and Rigby.


I have several other stories that need updating and I start a new one. Ohwell, enjoy.

Regular show is copyright to J.G. Quintel and his awesome hair.

* * *

_You're beautiful._

_I love your red feathers._

_You have such a cute laugh._

_Want to come over to my place tonight?_

It always started out the same. She lost count of how many times it's happened. In a way, she always fooled herself into believing it would last this time. The red robin would receive endless compliments from her would be suitors, but they always lead to the same conclusion.

_It's not working out._

_I met someone new._

_We should date other people._

_It was just a one night stand._

Margaret gave a sigh as her most recent relationship ended like all the others. Well, not like all the others. This time she got dumped for a guy. Freddy didn't have any gay signs at all. He was a bodybuilder who played football and drank beer. Margaret found out the hard way that the old saying "You can't judge a book by its cover" can be quite true.

"Here's your latte sir."

"Thank you."

Margaret gave the customer his order, her body on autopilot. She'd done it so many times before should could retreat into her mind when she needed to think something over. But just with coffee. She would still mix up food orders if she was too deep in thought.

_Why can't I keep a boyfriend for longer than two weeks? I try my best to make them last. They always have such lame excuses, trying to spare my feelings. What a joke! Do they think I enjoy getting a new boyfriend more often than the moon goes through its phases?_

The red robin began clearing a table of its mugs and plates. They left money and a small tip so she wouldn't have to go chase after another dine and dasher.

_People are starting to whisper that I'm a slut or a nymphomaniac. I've only slept with three of my former boyfriends and two one night stands. They were all spread out too._

Margaret grabbed a cleaning rag and a spray bottle filled with cleaning fluid from the back room and walked over to the recently vacated table. She cleaned the table top and heard the door to the coffee shop open.

_If only I could find a regular guy to date. Someone who will give me a chance at a long term relationship._

"Hey Margaret."

The red robin looked over her shoulder to spot the source of the cheerful voice. A tall smiling blue jay was waving at her as he made his way over. Next to him walked a visibly upset short raccoon, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes glued to the floor.

"Hey Mordecai. Hey Rigby. Should I bring you guys your usual order?" she asked.

"That would be great. It's so cool you know our usual order." Mordecai gave another smile.

Rigby gave a frown. "Maybe that's because_**someone **_insists on coming here every day even though we had other plans." A second later the blue jay punched the raccoon in the arm. It was a common sight for the two, sometimes bickering like an old married couple. Margaret often wondered if the two were secretly an item. You rarely saw one without the other. Sadness pulled at Margaret's heart when she realized that even if they were only friends, Mordecai and Rigby had a deeper connection with each other than she ever had with any of her ex-boyfriends.

"Margaret, are you okay?" Mordecai instantly noticed her change in mood. "Dude, you upset her!"

"No I didn't!" protested Rigby.

"I'm fine Mordecai, just a little upset after breaking up with Freddy."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, I'll be okay. I'll go get started on your order. Have a seat any place you like." They took a seat at the table she just cleaned. The red robin returned the cleaning supplies to the back room and then wrote up the order for a salad and fries for the cook. She grabbed two coffee mugs and filled them up near the brim and made her way over to their table. They were talking something over, most likely a personal matter. Rigby still looked upset and Mordecai seemed annoyed. She was able to make out some of their argument as she approached.

"…just tell her already. Don't be such a chicken."

"Stop being so random with me! You're acting like a baby!"

She set down the cups of coffee on the table and they finally noticed her presence. "Your food will be ready in a little bit. Is there anything else I can get you?"

"No, but, um… you could, you know, ." Margaret had no idea what Mordecai just said. He seemed rather nervous for some reason. Rigby was now sulking while looking down at his coffee.

"I didn't quite catch that last part."

Mordecai gave a blush. "I asked if you'd like to sit down with us… If you're not too busy that is." Margaret looked around at the now empty coffee shop. It was the slow period of the day, right after late lunch but before early dinner.

"I'd like that. I've been on my feet all day." She sat down next to Mordecai and she could have sworn she heard him give a small squeak of glee. "I'm exhausted and my shift doesn't end for another few hours."

"We know how you feel. Benson is such a slave driver. This morning he had us on litter patrol and trash collecting duty for the whole park. It was disgusting. I found a used condom and even some soiled baby diapers."

"That's gross. It's not like it's that hard to find a trashcan."

Rigby looked up from his drink and decided to join in on the conversation. "It's not all bad. You find some pretty cool things in the trash too."

"That's easy for you to say Rigby, you're a raccoon. You love rooting around in garbage." Mordecai took a sip of his coffee.

"I don't make a habit of it. I only do it when I can feel something priceless in the garbage. Besides, you're just upset I'm the one who found the 20 bucks inside that half eaten bag of cheese curls by the snack bar."

Mordecai rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Margaret. "We decided to come spend the money here during our break."

"Well I always appreciate your business Mordecai. It's nice having you here." The blue jay's face started turning a bright shade of red.

"I like you being here too. I mean, it's your job to be here, but I like that it is, no wait…" Margaret gave a cheerful laugh at Mordecai's ramblings. She thought he was being funny. He started laughing along with her.

"…The arcade would have been better…" mumbled Rigby. The red robin didn't catch that bit but did notice how miserable Rigby looked.

"Don't be sad Rigby, I like having you here too. We're all good friends having a good time." Mordecai frowned a bit at the friend comment, but Margaret's attention was on something else. The cook had rang the bell for an order.

"That's your order. I'll be right back with it." She got up and left, leaving the two alone once again.

It was nice whenever they were around. They always found a way to make her smile. She picked up their order and made her way back.

"…We'll go to the arcade after work. Just cheer up, okay?"

"Okay, but no more broken promises from you."

"Dude, they aren't promises. We just make plans. Plans can change."

Two plates were placed in front of them ending their conversation. Margaret figured out Rigby was upset over Mordecai's sudden change of plans. She wouldn't look deeper into it since it had nothing to do with her. Or so she thought.

"Here you go. Let me know if you need anything else."

"You're not going to stay here with us? We could, uh… share my salad." A slight blush was visible on Mordecai's cheeks.

"No, I already ate earlier on my break and I need to prepare for the dinner rush. Enjoy your meals." And with that she went to check on the store's remaining inventory for the day.

* * *

The rest of the day slowly passed by. Margaret didn't normally have the evening shift, but she was covering for a sick co-worker and the extra money would come in handy. She was grateful that the dinner rush wasn't as heavy as the lunch rush. By the time the shop closed at 10pm she was exhausted and just wanted to get home and sleep. After a short bus ride she arrived at her apartment. Unlocking the door and walking in, she turned on the lights to her familiar surroundings. It was a small apartment with just one bedroom, one bathroom, and a living area with an attached kitchen. The red robin placed her keys on the key hook next to the door and then closed the door. The first thing she was going to do was change out of her work clothes. Once she was in her bedroom, she stripped down and laid down on her bed. While Margaret would normally wear clothes, she preferred to sleep in the nude. After a few minutes of just relaxing, she sat up in bed and reached for her laptop she kept on the night table. It wasn't anything fancy, just a slightly outdated laptop that kept her connected to the internet. It also served as her diary, although all she ever wrote was about her love life. She opened the latest entry in it and read.

_I just got dumped by Freddy today. He lasted 8 days which is slightly below average. The strange thing is the reason we're over is because he found someone else. A guy. I was surprised to find out he was gay, or at least bi. He didn't show any signs of it at all. This is the first time I got dumped for a guy. Now normally this wouldn't bother me, but for some reason this time it does. I know it's a silly reason, but I think it's because it makes me feel that guys would rather go gay than spend too much time with me. I wish I could meet the right guy._

Margaret started scrolling through several previous entries and they were all basically the same thing. She meets a guy, writes how happy she is, there's a conflict, she gets dumped or on occasion ends the relationship, writes how it's over, repeat.

'It's not exactly a best-selling romance novel. My love life is a mess.'

TV, books, the internet, hell even fanfiction all made love seem so easy. It was all garbage. Margaret could probably come up with better, more realistic romance fiction.

'Hm, that's not such a bad idea.'

She opened up her word processor and got to work.

'Let's see, what should it be about? Maybe a red robin seeking the perfect guy but only finding duds and learning the only person she needs is herself? No, that will just romanticize my life and set my future expectations too high. It should be something original. I don't have any pre-made couples to work with anyway.'

At that moment, the image of Mordecai and Rigby flashed in her brain.

'No, it would be wrong to use them… But I've always wondered what kind of couple they'd be… Rigby would most likely be the girl in the relationship. He always wants Mordecai's attention and gets upset if Mordecai is ever apart from him for more than 10 minutes. Mordecai allows Rigby to be that clingy and also makes sure to keep him safe. They've been best friends for so long they didn't realize they fell in love with each other. An event in the park one day would slowly make them realize the truth. Yeah, that's a great premise.'

Margaret began typing her story. The words formed on the screen as fast as they came to her head. She would only stop when she would check parts of it over or when she had to reply to an IM. An hour passed before Margaret decided to call it a night.

'I'll stop here for the night. What should I call this story anyway? I know, _The Keeper of my Heart_'

Smiling at her use of wordplay on 'groundskeeper', Margaret saved her story, turned off her laptop, and settled into bed. She drifted off into a dreamland filled with handsome men singing show tunes, sentient coffee beings demanding liquorice, and a raccoon and blue jay holding hands while walking down a chocolate river on their way to the supermarket for some dynamite.

* * *

Yes, this Mordecai/Rigby story is about Margaret writing a Mordecai/Rigby story. It makes as much sense as the show itself.


End file.
